In the Dark

Dark

Photo by Daniel Jensen on Unsplash

Where the Celtic Sea kissed the golden sands,
My blood spilled over the descending sun.
In the dark, I wept while he broke my heart;
No longer could the world see what he had done.

Beneath his grip and perversions I squirmed;
While family drank and danced, they didn’t see.
In the dark, I wept while they closed their eyes;
No one came to save me or set me free.

My terrified stare fixed the blood-stained moon;
They didn’t hear me under the starlit sky.
My kin stood by, watched me break, watched me cry.
With each thrust, I prayed God would let me die.

I raised my hand to He who died for us;
Prayed God would deliver me from the pain.
In the dark, my heart blackened and withered;
In the hands of Christ, I felt my child wane.

In the dark I was not free to just play.
Forgive me ’cause I let him leave his mark.
No kindness or warmth ’cause it was my youth;
Heal my black heart and free me from the dark.


Creative Notes

“In the Dark” expresses the sexual abuse I experienced as a child growing up in Cornwall, in Southwest England. For those who know that small part of the world, they will understand the opening line of the first stanza:

Where the Celtic Sea kissed the golden sands

Family in the dark

The second stanza is a painful reminder that while I was being sexually abused my family were so close by but had no idea what he was doing to me. It really was a case of so close but yet so far.

Beneath his grip and perversions I squirmed;
While family drank and danced, they didn’t see.
In the dark I wept while they closed their eyes;
No one came to save me or set me free.

God in the dark

Of course there is plenty of reference to God because I have always had a strong belief in Him. Whenever life has been tough, I have looked to Him – so unfashionable, I know.