Welcome to my personal site which I use to create. My name is Hadyn Tumaob and I’m a poet, writer, creator, introvert and a big old pile of complexities, contradictions, frustrations and human conditions.
I’m a Poet…and Didn’t Know It
I wrote my first poem when I was a confused, lost and sexually abused teenage boy. The world I lived in seemed so dark and strange; I didn’t understand any of it.
I sat down one day and wrote how mixed up I was feeling. I showed this poem to my father’s girlfriend. She embraced me and told me to never stop writing about what lay within me. She said I had a gift and one day I could use my pain to help others.
I wrote a few more but then I just stopped and never wrote a poem again. I did write songs over the years but never poems. I’m not sure why. Perhaps because I was so caught up in the drama that was my life.
Then one day, back in 2018, I sat and wrote my first poem in at least twenty years. I have no idea what inspired me to do so but I’m glad I did because I enjoyed the process. I have been writing poems regularly since, which I share with you on this website.
My poems relate to love, life and culture. Many are dark, brutal, painful and even sexual because that is how it often was for me living in this world as a gay boy, teenager and man.
There are, of course, plenty that are inspiring, warm, fuzzy and about more positive aspects of life. What you can be sure of is all are written from my heart, truth and unique view of the world through the eyes of a person who has lived as part of a very tiny minority in this world.
Before I wrote my first poem, I loved writing stories. I understood the power of words when a story I wrote in my primary school caused my teacher to cry. She told my mother I am a writer.
Despite that teacher encouraging me, and me enjoying the power of words and creating stories, I didn’t pursue it much once I moved into my teens. A crazy thought when I think of how much I had to write about by then.
Over the years, I did write short stories – dark/horror/psychological and gay erotica. There was even a period when I wrote personal blog stories covering my life experiences and opinions.
Just as with the poetry, I had found something that gave me pleasure and power but I for some reason held back from it. Crazy, fear or something I will never quite understand.
But at least I am pursuing it again now in my own space, with my own rules and with a bit more life experience, and dare I say maturity.
World of the Introvert
This world values people who are socially confident, outgoing and forthright with their opinions. You’ve got to be the life and soul of the party, and you must be socialising as much as possible. Yes, we live in the world of the extrovert. And it sure can be a noisy and exhausting world to live in.
Society considers the quiet and less social as anti-social, aloof, pompous, standoffish and many other names designed to belittle us. Yes, we are the introverts, and somehow we live in a world that does not value our unique qualities.
We are not as quick to express our views and opinions, but not because we don’t have them. We just can’t be bothered to deal with the abuse that always comes from disgruntled extroverts. Bullying and belittling is always carried out by an extrovert. Introverts don’t bully because we are blessed/cursed with empathy.
It’s not that introverts haven’t had a positive impact on this world, it’s just the extroverts have been too noisy to notice.
There are many unheard voices in this world. I’m just one, but after forty years I’m sick of living in the shadow of extroverts. It’s been a headache putting up with their constant noise both online and offline because they just can’t function without being the centre of attention.
For forty years, I have heard their opinions about men, politics, white people, gays, immigration, cultures, celebrities, religion, the climate and every other subject you can think of. They claim to speak for all of us, but most times I have rolled my eyes or got angry in private.
Social media doesn’t offer introverts a solution either because extroverts have taken over these sites too. That’s why I created this website. I wanted a small space in this world where I could express my creativity and opinions without having to deal with the noise and bullying of the extroverts.
Just reading back over this, I think that may actually be a wee rant there…it happens.
Let’s get Personal
I know bio pages are supposed to tell you all about the person behind the website you are visiting.
I should be sharing my history, my great achievements (have you noticed that on all those other websites?) and simply how great I am that I can improve your life for you.
Well, I’m not sure I can do that. I certainly have no great achievements to speak of. And I’m not sure I can improve your life. If my writing inspires you then great, but I certainly cannot promise you that.
I’m just a pretty quiet and average type of person who just enjoys putting words together to tell a story, share an idea and opinion or explore my creative side.